Erotic Genre: How real can/should you be?

Sex with a ghost isn’t very real – unless you truly believe.

Sex with a werewolf? Vampire? Okay, way stranger images are coming to mind now.

I’m thinking the nitty-gritty. Basic human beings. How real should the sex be?

Protection?

Lube?

Noises?

Duration?

Smells?

Is the erotic audience ready for the turn-on, fantasy, reality, escape, wishful thinking and/or do they want it down and real?

How is real – sexy? Is the mundane ever sexy? Do we secretly want our erotic read to be relatable as we pretend to friends it’s really fantasy we’re after?

Does this mean we can feel rejected by a book’s hot lover just because we think we’re inadequate? Do beautifully perfect people scare us – maybe they want us?

The truth is, as it is for all writing, be real to the story you’re telling, nothing less or nothing much more is ever needed. 

Erotic Genre: Getting into the right mindset

Almost like I’m talking time balancing again. And, maybe it’s just me but I can’t just walk into my erotic story and start writing. Even writing these postings I need to put on my Thea persona and do that “become” her bit. Again, maybe this is all just me and I’m making too much out of it. Making the writing more difficult than it needs to be.

The one thing I really need for writing erotica is quiet and no one bugging me. It’s awkward writing a sex scene and have your family walk in on you. Talk about killing the mood.

Does it get easier?

I think I might have burnt myself out writing too much of Bonnie and Boris during Nano. I overdosed on sex.

How lame is it to say I’m not in the mood? The truth may be closer to me just being afraid I might actually succeed and then what?

Sorry, my Thea hat slipped and my own self took over there. Time to say toodles just for now.

The Erotic Genre: Is it all in the mind

Our minds have always filled in the blanks whenever we’ve seen a man carry a woman up the stairs to the closed bedroom door. We know what happened under the covers between the twin beds. We know what steamed windows mean.

Which is why some may ask why do we need graphic sex scenes in books or movies? We know what’s happening, no need to read/see it…right?

Not exactly.

Erotic stories are written for their sex scenes. They’re not romance, paranormal, mystery, historical, whatever genre stories with added scenes. Erotic writing is about the sex. The story circles in and around the heat. They’re also about the people who explore this part of human nature.

My own Bonnie and Boris Bedtime Stories were written for the erotic aspects. Yes, I needed solid characters, meaning they have backgrounds and lives outside of just the horizontal mamba. Each story needed a plot, story, around the “act” whether leading to it or being about it or ending with it.

Let alone erotic readings do play on people’s minds leading to more realistic heat ;)

The Erotic Genre: When the word is perfect as is

The one problem I have with writing the erotic genre is that there are only so many ways to call something, something. I’m talking private parts and the sex. I’m also talking noises.

It’s fine if your story has one sexual scene, but our genre requires more than that. I hear my editor’s voice telling me I’m repeating, but I know my characters and the words they would use and not use. Do I satisfy the editor or stay true to the characters?

Sometimes the perfect word is the same word and changing it will change the story feel.

And maybe I’m stressing too much over it all.

Word usage is also part of each character. If one character prefers pecker or vajay-jay, it wouldn’t make sense to use those names with someone else.

Unless I want the shock value. And those need to be limited in usage or they lose their effectiveness.

I know it has come to the surprise of some that our genre demands this much care and thought. Those unfamiliar thought it was all wham bam thank you mam.

Not that whamming and bamming are naughty, they just have their own writing style.

I know now that anyone who says writing sex is easy has never seriously written sex.

The Erotic Genre: Am I bad because of what I write?

You write sex stories?

Porn?

Are these real experiences?

Fantasies?

No, I write erotic stories. I write characters within fictional worlds with emotions and yes they have sex. Yes, more sex, more detailed sex than someone being carried up the staircase. Unless, of course, you follow and watch…participate.

No, it’s not porn. My characters and their stories have just as many rules and story arcs and requirements as a story without sex. This isn’t a bored wham, bam, thank you mam.

Real? Seriously? Ah, no. Believe me? No? So, why ask?

Fantasies? See the response above.

What’s with all the gasps and shock when people learn I write detailed sex scenes within the walls of fiction? Funny, I don’t get the same reaction when I say I write horror – except from my mom. She wonders why I can’t write a simple love story.

Mom, I do. Mine just happen to have a lot of sex in it.

Good thing mom has a sense of humour. No, she hasn’t read my stories. Not her genre, besides – ewwww. I don’t want to know if my mom reads erotic, let alone mine. ICK.

Double standard?

Sure.

Look I’m not a bad person for writing sex. No one is a bad person for reading sex.

As a writer, my imagination just works differently. My ideal character could be the person who will curl your toes and have you screaming with ecstasy with how he/she uses his/her tongue. Burns you with hidden passions you never dreamed were within you. Then turns around and douses you with acid watching your skin burn off while you scream in agony.

Okay, I think I just scared myself.

All right, already, I’m not a bad person cause I write horror either. Yes, mom, I’ll go write that nice sweet innocent romance now.

The Erotic Genre: Be Kind To Yourself

Generally, a writer needs to be kind and forgiving to themselves. Nothing is perfect in the rough draft. Nothing is perfect in the first edit. Our words are never typed fast enough to keep up with our brains. What sounds good in our mind translates into some wildly abnormal-tongue that would require the character to be hanging by their feet from the ceiling in order to reach where we say they are licking.

Or they need seven hands instead of the four reality dictates they have. And try that position, your knees just do not bend that way – without breaking that is.

There are only so many names for sounds and body parts. Do-hickey and down there with his ding-a-ling won’t cut it in our genre. Unless you are going for the slap-slick comedy.

Sorry, no man looks good in a speedo…ever.

Maybe our genre is one where we need to be extra kind and patient with our writing. We’re dealing with scenes that are to stimulate and feel good, but it’s a fine line to tightrope walk when you’re mixing comedy, horror, paranormal, with grunts, groans, and moans.

We have heightened emotions filled with lust, anger, fear, love, and sometimes even hate and at the same moment we have to prove our characters are saying “YES” and not being forced or controlled into a sex act/situation.

Stepping outside of ourselves into a fictional character is an adventure in any genre; however, our genre is one where we’ll be asked – did you really do that? Have you… Really, are these stories about you? So that’s your fantasy. Hey, you know…

I’ve never been asked “are you a serial killer” when I’ve written something dark, but boy have I been kidded about writing erotic. 

We write erotic because we like writing sex, sexy, sensual, we’re tired of the wham bam boinking blandness that’s shoved at us. We write what we want to read. And in doing so we’ve set ourselves up for some pretty strange looks and questions.

The general public is more comfortable with blood and guts and less with their own nakedness. We’re just the lucky ones who allow them to peek at our naked imagination.

The Erotic Genre: Learning It

What I’m learning is it’s nothing like below…

“Everyone” talks about how erotic sells. How erotic is what people are reading. How it’s so popular on eReaders because people can read it in public without fear.

How it’s just writing sex scenes.

Wrong.

Yes…erotic sells.

Yes…people are reading it and on eReaders where no one can see.

Yes…erotic is popular.

No…it’s not just sex scenes.

Erotic or erotica…I’m still learning those subtle meanings…is sexy reading. There’s hot sex. There’s characters who have sex with…well…with most anyone in any situation and there’s little rules as to anything.

…What it is, is writing strong characters, a storyline that fits whatever sub-genre you’re writing/attempting to write, with sex scenes your reader can visualize that happen “on screen” as opposed to the female/male being carried “off screen” for the action to happen.

Think the movie “Psycho,” we never saw the murder in the shower. Nope, go watch again. We were given glimpses of what’s happening and our mind filled in the details. Take the “Nightmare on Elm Street” movies, those we saw everything, nothing was left to our imagination.

Think romantic sensual writing versus romantic or anything sex writing. You still need a story. You still need characters your readers want to read having sex.

Writing sex is easy.

Incorporating it into a story, now that’s the challenge. Writing erotic/erotica is the same as writing any other genre. It takes the same consideration. The same planning. The same story ARC. The same editing. The same everything. That means if erotic writing requires steps 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7. You write all those steps. If paranormal writing requires steps 1-4, plus 8-11, then you write those steps plus the steps which belong to erotic if you want paranormal erotic.

No, writing erotic isn’t easy. We’re not writing sex letters to some magazine. Telling locker room tales to our friends. Nor are we writing a scene of two people saying ‘hi’ and then banging away on each other. That’s not to say those scenes don’t happen. That some authors aren’t writing like that. Hey, I can go for a good “Psycho” movie or a good “Elm Street” movie any time, depends on my mood.

Same goes for this genre of mine.

So what’s my point? We’re not cookie-cutter writers. We’re just as diverse as any genre writer you may pick up and read. What I love most is the fact television entertainment shows referred to Jackie Collins as an erotic author. For years I’ve heard her referred to in many ways, from praised to smut. The fact she was acknowledged as erotic, well, yeah, that made me proud.

I’m no Jackie Collins, but I am a writer. I write erotic and I’m proud of my work.

Oh, and before you take a side trip on the author name thing…I’m proud enough of my erotic writing to give it its own identity so you won’t judge based on who you think I am and what I should be